arbit thoughts

The other day I just asked a friend 'Are you waking up every morning doing something you are passionate about", to my surprise he said "yes". To my surprise, because he was the only one to say 'yes' out of around 10 people to whom I asked this question.

Now a question to you. What brings you to that cubicle, in front of that computer every morning 5 days a week? Have you stopped asking that question because you are tired of asking it....or do you still ask it as a ritual but don’t really look for answers anymore? What makes you not give your best when you for sure know you can do the job better. You know you are smart and if you really wanted, you could have done the job in a much efficient way but ...you dont do it. Is it that the juice doesn’t seem worth the squeeze? I don’t need answers for these questions....you do.

For me, while trying to find answers for "why I don’t put my best in work, is this plain laziness or is there some reason to it", I revisited my history and the places I loved to go, things I loved to do, I tried finding out incidents where I loved to go the extra mile, trying to remember those incidents in life where I pushed the levels of my commitment to a task and tried finding out what made me to do them then.

I remember I never wanted to miss school, whatever the case I had to go to school, even when some relatives were at home and mom would say you can take an off today, I would not miss school, what would make me attend the summer classes every year, be a part of all the annual, semi annual, quarterly, monthly, weekly daily functions or celebrations, where did that energy came from, why did I have to be a part of making things better in school. I remember....I loved my school.

I was never an early morning person, I would miss breakfast, sometimes even my bath just to have that extra 5 mins of sleep, and this makes me wonder, if I was so against of waking up early that I wanted it to be government law to not wake up kids before 8 then what use to make me wake up at 5 on those summer morning when I use to go play cricket, what made me wake up at 5 without an alarm clock then and what makes me miss my office bus at 8 with three back to back alarms now. I remember...I loved cricket.

Summers in Delhi can be really hard on you, with temperatures touching 45c you better stay indoors when your mom asks you to. Though they peak around June July, august brought the moisture in along with the heat and you sure will sweat like a pig if you are out for more than 5 minutes. But the summer sun could never stop me to climb up the stairs and sit on the rooftop flying kites, listening to music. I could barely notice how hot the weather was when the kite was in the air swaying at movement of my finger. How could I survive that heat for hours smiling and let go of a sighs and cries even is the AC switched of for a second in office. I remember....I loved flying kites.

Holi celebrations started at 9 in the morning, to get the heads up the next morning I would spend the whole night before the D-day filling up and tying the water balloons, I would negotiate with cousins for their help, trying to tell them why we need to start early on this, so they help me get the bucket full of balloons ready before I go to the battle the next day. It was a big deal for me back then. When I could spend hours on the night before holi to get heads up the next day why don’t I work on my presentations and reports the night before work in the same way. I remember...I loved playing holi.

It may be just me....but this is my blog it can be just me.

I am not trying to say I don't love my work. I do. I like what I do, but I am not passionate about it the same way I was about so many other things in life. I am part of the herd which was only offered a single dish to eat, take it or stay hungry, I think just like many I took it. Now, is it too late to go out there and look for something new, have I eaten too much....whatever the case may be ...I know when I was a kid there were things which I loved doing, something for which never cared how much was the hard work involved, for which the extra effort brought a smile and not pain ...and if I have to necessarily eat something for the rest of my life I better eat something I love to eat. I might go hungry on some days in between maybe stay hungry for longer than I expect, but it makes sense and deserves the risks.

The dots may never join, I may never be known for someone whose dots joined to make something spectacular, I may not become popular if the dots never join but I will always be well respected by me if I keep making the dots at least, so Mr. Steve jobs I bought your speech, I am promising not to settle until I find what I love, I am Staying hungry Staying foolish............

"Are you waking up every morning doing something you are passionate about?”